It struck me today that I have not truly blogged about my experience here in Ukraine. I have told small details about it and shared my thoughts that have occurred to me here, but that isn't the same. I realized on a deeper level this morning that I have a new home for the next few months. These events are important, both in the shaping of my life and the lives of those I come into contact with here.
Since will be here for several months, I suppose it's only fair to tell those of you at home a little bit about where I am staying. I am living in the great big city of Dnepropetrovsk which is home to some pretty big industrial facilities and over a million people. Interesting thing I learned is that until the collapse of the USSR, the city was closed, meaning that it was difficult to enter or leave the city without certain documents, largely due to the military factories here. There is a river running through the middle of the city named the Dnepr River. Oh, by the way, that river? Remember the factories I mentioned? Yeah... don't drink the river water...
I am currently sleeping at the church on the third floor. For those of you who are wondering, I do sleep on a mattress... sort of. As far as I have seen, a mattress like we think of in America doesn't exist here. The mattress that I have in my room is a flat sleeping pad, MAYBE an inch and a half thick. The good news is that I stole another mattress from the other bunk so now I have a solid two inches of padding! Anyway, they were nice enough to get me a desk, buy me a dresser, and I have a space heater now. I haven't needed the built in heater yet, but I a m told that it is only a matter of time.
The church is home to many things. It is actually two congregations (I don't know why) that meet in two separate sanctuaries. Below where I sleep (on the first floor) there is a small Christian primary school. Above the kitchen and dinning hall there is the Dnepropetrovsk Conference Office. Finally, around the back side of the church there is another building that houses a tiny Christian Bookstore, the pastor of one of the congregations, and the ELC.
Four days a week, I have the wonderful pleasure of eating lunch with the women from the conference office. I am able to eat a balanced meal of amazing Ukrainian food. Oh man, I don't even know how to describe all the foods, so I'll save that for another time. Suffice it to say that Ukrainians love soup, bread, and hot drinks (among many other things of course).
Monday, November 18, 2013
Tuesday, November 12, 2013
Razors & God
Shaving is a regular part of most peoples lives. For men it is their face, and if a woman shaves it will be her legs. Now, I have never shaved my legs, but I would imagine that it is somewhat similar to shaving your face in that dull razors just plain hurt!
When it comes to shaving and to changing the blade on my razor, I tend to wait too long. I often wait 3-5 days to shave instead of 2, leading to longer stubble. The combination of long stubble and a dull razor leads to a painful shave. Instead of changing my razor blade like I know I should, I often just force my self to "suck it up and take it like a man".The other day I had such a shaving event. I was shaving with what might as well have been a broken dinner plate when I thought, "You know, this really hurts. I should change my razor, that would make it easier!" THEN!... I did nothing and kept shaving.
3-4 days later I was sitting in my room and I realized I needed to shave again. I grabbed my razor and shaving cream and started for the door when I remembered I needed to change the blades. That day was amazing. I shaved without pain, had not razor burn, and didn't cut myself once! Oh the differences that such a tiny change can make.
What is the best way to always look clean shaven? To shave all the time. With all of that shaving, you would need to change your razor every day! Assuming there was no financial consequence to this habit, you would become accustomed to the greater sense of comfort. I know that I would enjoy shaving more if I changed my razor every time!
I know that I am making a big deal out of a very simple thing, but I am leading into an idea, so this is where you need to start paying attention.
For the last few months, the main thing anyone seems to be talking about is LIVING with God. It isn't just because I am in Ukraine that I am hearing this. I heard it before I left and I see the idea online, too. Imagine inviting God into your life every morning. If we truly lived with God, our lives would be so much smoother at times. They would cause us less pain, not because the events are any easier, but because we have His strength in us. We must constantly change our razors, constantly dedicate ourselves to God.
I know that you should practice what you preach, but I am just a man. I am riddled with flaws and sin. I fail many days, but on the days that I dedicate myself to God, everything is better. By inviting Him to do things with me throughout the day, those things and that day are better.
Monday, November 4, 2013
Doubting Daryl
I have a person who is really close to me who is doubting religion on the whole. For the sake of pronouns, let's say they're a guy, and for the sake of a name, let's call him Daryl. Now, I was talking to Daryl about his religious views recently because he hinted that he was having doubts.
Daryl, if you read this, I want you to know that I love you and that this isn't meant to shame you or to insult you. I want you to know that this is simply me addressing the topic publicly, expressing my views to more people than just you. If you couldn't tell, when we talked I was having a hard time answering you questions. This are my views after a little bit of thinking.
So, why did I name this post "Doubting Daryl"? Well, first of all, I wanted something to make an alliteration, because they are catchy. Secondly, I didn't want to give away Daryl's real name. Thirdly, Daryl is having doubts. He is questioning reality, trying to determine what is real and what is not. These questions are very real and I had similar ones earlier in my life. It is very hard to figure out what exactly you can trust in life, or if you can even trust that you are really alive. Sometimes, when I get really sick and sleep all of the time, I have a difficult time telling what is reality and what is a dream. I tend to imagine things happening and then have to ask awkward questions afterward to see if something really happened. To the other people it is really obvious what reality is, but to me I have a hard time knowing for sure.
This is how I imagine Daryl feels right about now. He asked me something to the effect of "How do you know that religion is real and not just a way to process your emotions and the events around you?" Well, tough question. Since Emotions are subjective, and my personal interactions with God are subjective, I don't have any proof from personal experience. I do know that I have changed since coming to God, but your question is whether or not that change is really from God or if because I took a certain point of view I was able to make the changes necessary. I firmly hold that I would not have been able to make many or even all of the changes that I have if I hadn't had the help of God.
Since emotions are subjective,one will have to view that hundreds of historical proofs for the bible. I recommend researching this area even if you do believe bible because it is very interesting. If someone were to say "eh, these things aren't real" or "the bible was written after all of these things, so they don't prove it" that's fine, I have one last thing to say. It is simple and is easily illustrated with one of the questions I had a while back.
My question was this, "How do we know any of this is real? What if we are just a bunch of brains in jars, or what if I am the only one who is real, what if I am the only brain in a jar and you guys are my imagination?" Now, for those of you who don't know, there is a philosophical question about existence that was proposed a long time ago. It goes something like this. Let's say that modern science has advanced to the point of being able to remove a brain from the body without damaging or killing it. They then place it into a jar where the temperature and nutrients are kept at just the right levels to support the life of the brain. Finally, the brain is attached at all of the proper places with electrodes to allow sensory input. Some machine is then attached to the brain and the machine send the proper signals to the brain. In theory, you could convince the brain that it has a body, that is eats, sleeps, walks, and even talks, all through the use of electrical impulses. How would that brain know the difference between life in a body and life in a jar? How do you and I know that we are not simply brains in jars attached to machines? It is a scenario that can make all of life meaningless.
I came to this decision a little while before I was baptized. I don't know if life is real. I do have a choice though. I choose to believe that life is real, that is has a purpose, that I am not just some medical experiment. I choose to have faith. Faith is the only answer that transcends all questions.
You can tell me that I am just processing my emotions in a certain way, but I have to say, that view is depressing and God is waiting for you. I love you Daryl, and I am praying for you.
Daryl, if you read this, I want you to know that I love you and that this isn't meant to shame you or to insult you. I want you to know that this is simply me addressing the topic publicly, expressing my views to more people than just you. If you couldn't tell, when we talked I was having a hard time answering you questions. This are my views after a little bit of thinking.
So, why did I name this post "Doubting Daryl"? Well, first of all, I wanted something to make an alliteration, because they are catchy. Secondly, I didn't want to give away Daryl's real name. Thirdly, Daryl is having doubts. He is questioning reality, trying to determine what is real and what is not. These questions are very real and I had similar ones earlier in my life. It is very hard to figure out what exactly you can trust in life, or if you can even trust that you are really alive. Sometimes, when I get really sick and sleep all of the time, I have a difficult time telling what is reality and what is a dream. I tend to imagine things happening and then have to ask awkward questions afterward to see if something really happened. To the other people it is really obvious what reality is, but to me I have a hard time knowing for sure.
This is how I imagine Daryl feels right about now. He asked me something to the effect of "How do you know that religion is real and not just a way to process your emotions and the events around you?" Well, tough question. Since Emotions are subjective, and my personal interactions with God are subjective, I don't have any proof from personal experience. I do know that I have changed since coming to God, but your question is whether or not that change is really from God or if because I took a certain point of view I was able to make the changes necessary. I firmly hold that I would not have been able to make many or even all of the changes that I have if I hadn't had the help of God.
Since emotions are subjective,one will have to view that hundreds of historical proofs for the bible. I recommend researching this area even if you do believe bible because it is very interesting. If someone were to say "eh, these things aren't real" or "the bible was written after all of these things, so they don't prove it" that's fine, I have one last thing to say. It is simple and is easily illustrated with one of the questions I had a while back.
My question was this, "How do we know any of this is real? What if we are just a bunch of brains in jars, or what if I am the only one who is real, what if I am the only brain in a jar and you guys are my imagination?" Now, for those of you who don't know, there is a philosophical question about existence that was proposed a long time ago. It goes something like this. Let's say that modern science has advanced to the point of being able to remove a brain from the body without damaging or killing it. They then place it into a jar where the temperature and nutrients are kept at just the right levels to support the life of the brain. Finally, the brain is attached at all of the proper places with electrodes to allow sensory input. Some machine is then attached to the brain and the machine send the proper signals to the brain. In theory, you could convince the brain that it has a body, that is eats, sleeps, walks, and even talks, all through the use of electrical impulses. How would that brain know the difference between life in a body and life in a jar? How do you and I know that we are not simply brains in jars attached to machines? It is a scenario that can make all of life meaningless.
I came to this decision a little while before I was baptized. I don't know if life is real. I do have a choice though. I choose to believe that life is real, that is has a purpose, that I am not just some medical experiment. I choose to have faith. Faith is the only answer that transcends all questions.
You can tell me that I am just processing my emotions in a certain way, but I have to say, that view is depressing and God is waiting for you. I love you Daryl, and I am praying for you.
Saturday, October 26, 2013
Visa Problems
You want to know the truth? Why else would you be reading this if you didn't? I have been trying to live my life these past few months under the premise of absolute honesty. Half truths and partial lies have been a part of who I was since middle school, and now I have been struggling to tell the truth, and nothing else.
The truth right now, at this moment and for the past few days, is that I am scared. I am afraid that I will have to go back, back to America... Home... While the prospect fills me with joy at the possibility of seeing my friends and family, of being where things are normal, where things are safe. I have found myself day dreaming and wondering what I would do if I did in fact have to go home. Then, like a door slamming down the hall, I am brought back to this moment. I am brought to reality. I remember why I came, I remember my desire to STAY, and I am torn. I feel disappointed with myself for entertaining the thoughts of returning with such a warm and pleasant attitude.
When I am brought back to the present, to the fact that I am indeed still here, I start to think of what being here has accomplished. What have I done? How have I changed anything? Have I been a good enough example of God's love? Has God changed anything in me? What? On and on with the questions and worries.
It has boiled down in my mind to this. What am I to learn from this experience? The situation is simple enough. Bureaucracy is complex and we are at the end of the rope with my visa. Down to 4 days before it expires, it is getting too close for my comfort and I am starting to worry. The lessons could be anything, but here are some guesses I have.
One could be that God wants to test my patience and my nerves and yet show that He is in control. This would be accomplished by my visa extension being approved at or near the last minute. It would show that God finishes things in His own time, and that He does things when everything is ready.
The other, near as I can figure, is that I am not meant to be here. Maybe I wasn't supposed to come here, maybe I was supposed to go somewhere else, or worse yet, stay at Walla Walla.
The only thing that I can do is pray. The problem with prayer is that I am so emotional,so confused about where I want to be, I don't know what to pray for. Should I pray to stay? Should I pray to go? The best I can manage is to pray for some semblance of peace and that God would lead me, showing me where and what I am supposed to do. I don't know what else to do...
Edit:
My biggest fear about returning home is that one some level it would represent some kind of failure. I am afraid that it will be yet another thing that I didn't see to the end...
The truth right now, at this moment and for the past few days, is that I am scared. I am afraid that I will have to go back, back to America... Home... While the prospect fills me with joy at the possibility of seeing my friends and family, of being where things are normal, where things are safe. I have found myself day dreaming and wondering what I would do if I did in fact have to go home. Then, like a door slamming down the hall, I am brought back to this moment. I am brought to reality. I remember why I came, I remember my desire to STAY, and I am torn. I feel disappointed with myself for entertaining the thoughts of returning with such a warm and pleasant attitude.
When I am brought back to the present, to the fact that I am indeed still here, I start to think of what being here has accomplished. What have I done? How have I changed anything? Have I been a good enough example of God's love? Has God changed anything in me? What? On and on with the questions and worries.
It has boiled down in my mind to this. What am I to learn from this experience? The situation is simple enough. Bureaucracy is complex and we are at the end of the rope with my visa. Down to 4 days before it expires, it is getting too close for my comfort and I am starting to worry. The lessons could be anything, but here are some guesses I have.
One could be that God wants to test my patience and my nerves and yet show that He is in control. This would be accomplished by my visa extension being approved at or near the last minute. It would show that God finishes things in His own time, and that He does things when everything is ready.
The other, near as I can figure, is that I am not meant to be here. Maybe I wasn't supposed to come here, maybe I was supposed to go somewhere else, or worse yet, stay at Walla Walla.
The only thing that I can do is pray. The problem with prayer is that I am so emotional,so confused about where I want to be, I don't know what to pray for. Should I pray to stay? Should I pray to go? The best I can manage is to pray for some semblance of peace and that God would lead me, showing me where and what I am supposed to do. I don't know what else to do...
Edit:
My biggest fear about returning home is that one some level it would represent some kind of failure. I am afraid that it will be yet another thing that I didn't see to the end...
Saturday, October 19, 2013
Sad Sky
"The sky is about to cry," Maria said this today. I liked it. It was cloudy and overcast, and there was a nip in the air as a humid cold had followed the clouds to Dnepropetrovsk. She had said this to Greg, and continued on by saying, "It is sad because you are leaving."
Gregory Wilkinson, one of my hall-mates and friends from Walla Walla University this last year came to Ukraine on Wednesday and arrived in Dnepropetrovsk really late. I was so excited to see him. Another American, and one that I knew! A few weeks ago there was a wonderful gentleman by the name of Christopher Beason who came to shoot a video for the Christian School here at the Church, but I didn't know him. This was my friend! When I got to the bus station to pick him up, I was early. I waited until the time came that his bus was supposed to arrive, but it didn't show up at 10:15 pm... or 10:30... or even 10:45!
By now I was worried, but luckily I was with Pastor Alexi who went and asked the clerk at the ticket counter what was going on. He found out that Greg's bus would be late. If I hadn't found out that his bus was late, I don't know how I would have survived the next 45 minutes! I was getting worried that I hadn't seen him on one of the buses that had come and gone, and it had only been 20-30 minutes, imagine if I had to wait another 45. I would have been freaking out. When he got here, we took him back to the church and went to bed late (or early, depending on how you view 12:30 am).
Thursday, I showed him around the church and we went to my classes. I attempted to teach him some Russian, but to be fair, for me to teach Russian is more than a little bit like a blind guy leading the blind. I also tried to show him how to teach, but considering I know almost nothing myself and I don't even know how to teach well, this was worse than me teaching Russian...
Friday was an action packed day, filled with preparing for Friday Night (our English Speaking Club that we use as an outreach tool), visiting the class of a wonderful and entertaining teacher, Skyping with some of the best people ever (Anne Mulder, Kyle Jacobson, and Heather Ueeck), finishing with Friday Night. I think that Friday Night went really well. Our topic was "Travel/Traveling" and we discussed some vocab for travel, some quotes about travel, and ultimately tied it to the Bible. Our question that we decided to leave everyone with was something to the effect of, "What is your destination in life? Are you going to the cemetery or heaven?"
Then we had a lovely Sabbath, went to church, and I saw Greg off at the bus station. I am so thankful that I got to spend a few days with Greg, and I hope that I can spend more days with him in the future.
Gregory Wilkinson, one of my hall-mates and friends from Walla Walla University this last year came to Ukraine on Wednesday and arrived in Dnepropetrovsk really late. I was so excited to see him. Another American, and one that I knew! A few weeks ago there was a wonderful gentleman by the name of Christopher Beason who came to shoot a video for the Christian School here at the Church, but I didn't know him. This was my friend! When I got to the bus station to pick him up, I was early. I waited until the time came that his bus was supposed to arrive, but it didn't show up at 10:15 pm... or 10:30... or even 10:45!
By now I was worried, but luckily I was with Pastor Alexi who went and asked the clerk at the ticket counter what was going on. He found out that Greg's bus would be late. If I hadn't found out that his bus was late, I don't know how I would have survived the next 45 minutes! I was getting worried that I hadn't seen him on one of the buses that had come and gone, and it had only been 20-30 minutes, imagine if I had to wait another 45. I would have been freaking out. When he got here, we took him back to the church and went to bed late (or early, depending on how you view 12:30 am).
Thursday, I showed him around the church and we went to my classes. I attempted to teach him some Russian, but to be fair, for me to teach Russian is more than a little bit like a blind guy leading the blind. I also tried to show him how to teach, but considering I know almost nothing myself and I don't even know how to teach well, this was worse than me teaching Russian...
Friday was an action packed day, filled with preparing for Friday Night (our English Speaking Club that we use as an outreach tool), visiting the class of a wonderful and entertaining teacher, Skyping with some of the best people ever (Anne Mulder, Kyle Jacobson, and Heather Ueeck), finishing with Friday Night. I think that Friday Night went really well. Our topic was "Travel/Traveling" and we discussed some vocab for travel, some quotes about travel, and ultimately tied it to the Bible. Our question that we decided to leave everyone with was something to the effect of, "What is your destination in life? Are you going to the cemetery or heaven?"
Then we had a lovely Sabbath, went to church, and I saw Greg off at the bus station. I am so thankful that I got to spend a few days with Greg, and I hope that I can spend more days with him in the future.
Tuesday, October 15, 2013
Nicholas
Today I had the opportunity to have a Bible study with a man named Nicholas. He is a retired man who used to work in the railway construction industry and in the Soviet Army (or I think, he only mentioned it briefly). He and I discussed how in the USSR, it was not illegal to be a Christian. It was, however, strongly discouraged and looked down upon. According to the teachings of his youth, religion is a tool developed by the ruling class to hold the worker down, to keep them happily submissive.
I had agreed with him that he and I would trade information, he would teach me a little bit of Russian, and I would teach him a little bit of the Bible. When it came time, it was true that he taught me a little Russian, but I found it difficult to switch the subject to the Bible. When I finally got the topic switched over, I only spoke for about half an hour. I told him the basic idea of each book of the bible. That Genesis described where the universe came from, where man came from, and where the Israelites came from. That Exodus, Leviticus, Numbers, and Deuteronomy describe the Jews journey from Egypt to Israel and outlined laws for them to live by. That the next few books were their history, and that Psalms, Proverbs, Ecclesiastes, and Song of Songs were poetry. I described the books simply, and as effectively as I could. Then came the final moment. I had just finished describing the New Testament, mentioned that Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John were about Jesus and His sacrifice, and BOOM there it was. He asked the question. Why is Jesus a sacrifice? Why does His death cleanse you, me, and everyone? I was just beginning to answer the question when we ran out of time!
I think that he likely just wants to speak English, but if he wants to practice, and the Bible is the discussion topic, I don't see any harm in talking with him again.
I had agreed with him that he and I would trade information, he would teach me a little bit of Russian, and I would teach him a little bit of the Bible. When it came time, it was true that he taught me a little Russian, but I found it difficult to switch the subject to the Bible. When I finally got the topic switched over, I only spoke for about half an hour. I told him the basic idea of each book of the bible. That Genesis described where the universe came from, where man came from, and where the Israelites came from. That Exodus, Leviticus, Numbers, and Deuteronomy describe the Jews journey from Egypt to Israel and outlined laws for them to live by. That the next few books were their history, and that Psalms, Proverbs, Ecclesiastes, and Song of Songs were poetry. I described the books simply, and as effectively as I could. Then came the final moment. I had just finished describing the New Testament, mentioned that Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John were about Jesus and His sacrifice, and BOOM there it was. He asked the question. Why is Jesus a sacrifice? Why does His death cleanse you, me, and everyone? I was just beginning to answer the question when we ran out of time!
I think that he likely just wants to speak English, but if he wants to practice, and the Bible is the discussion topic, I don't see any harm in talking with him again.
Tuesday, October 8, 2013
Mickey D's
So, there I am, walking through downtown Dnipropetrovsk, on my way to meet the Director of my school, Maria, to work on my visa when what do I find? Mc-fricken-Donalds!
It is EVERYWHERE!!! And the best part is that while I waited of Maria outside the fast food joint, I had the opportunity to talk with some of its patrons. That is right, I walked up to random strangers and told them about the food they were eating. Now, I said it in a nice tone and with a smile and they looked at me blankly, not knowing what a single word that passed my lips meant.
Now, after we had worked on my visa a little bit (only to hit a bureaucratic wall) we decided to eat. I thought it would be fun to see how similar the food was. I thought it would be even more fun to order in English. Before I had finished my first sentence the guy had almost melted with the realization that I, yes I, was an American. No doubt, as he would correctly assume, I knew nothing of the Russian language. Yet, he still had to serve me. In fact, his manager was watching over his shoulder! I was having a grand old time. I got 20 Chicken Mc Nuggets for me, a cheese burger for Maria, and fries to share (and separate drinks). After we had taken struggled through the order, both smiling and me almost laughing, Maria revealed to the young cashier that she spoke Russian, and he just about died. We all thought that it was hilarious and he must have said something like "Why didn't YOU order!?!" I'll tell you why, for my enjoyment, for her enjoyment, for his growth, and hopefully your enjoyment now. BTW, this is the great sport of a young man who took my order.
Then we sat down to eat. I didn't get a good picture of the restaurant, but imagine a crowded McDonald's with mirrors for decorations, light weigh silver chairs, a couple TV's, and oh yeah, did I mention crowded? NEVER in my life have I EVER seen SO MANY people clamoring to eat in a Fricken McDonald's! An empty chair remained empty for a [insert clever way of saying short period of time]. As follows are pictures of Maria with our food (she is a healthy eater and this food is NOT healthy so she is hiding her face in shame). The smallish picture is my last McNugget and the box they came in. Then there's me, munching on a McNugget. 
This just goes to show you that even when you are in a city that dwarfs your hometown (over 1 mil vs 3k), and even when you are in another country, you can always find McDonald's to make you feel at home...
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