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I have been struggling to put these thoughts into words. Well, concise words anyway. I'll let you in on a secret, I can ramble sometimes.

I have been thinking about my time here and I feel very UN-missionary-like. No, that is not UN like United Nations, that is UN as in "opposite of". Why do I feel like the opposite of a missionary? Well, I'm not on the classic mission trip. I am not in the back country teaching the gospel through a translator. I am not healing people with medical problems. I am not even building a bridge, city, or orphanage somewhere. I live in a church, teach English in the evenings, and my mornings are mostly free. With so much free time, rather than spend it getting closer with God, completing weekly tasks early, or studying Russian which I claim to want to learn, I get distracted. I have the internet. The internet is a wonderful tool to find information and ides, to connect with people thousands of miles away, to get ideas and inspiration. The internet is also filled with games, memes, and more, all meant to distract you from daily life.

I wondered why God would send me thousands of miles away from home if He was just going to have me teach English. I thought I was going to be doing more "important" things here. Don't get me wrong, I am enjoying teaching, it can be quite a challenge.

Greg, my fellow missionary from WWU, said something like, "God is training me in everyday life". I agree with him wholeheartedly. In everyday life, I struggle with internet, I struggle with motivation, with maintaining a daily devotional and prayer life. God is not training me to be extraordinary, but to be ordinary. It is a tough thing to realize because our egos want us to be someone big, someone special. The truth is that I need to be trained to be ordinary before I should expect God to train me for anything else.